Friday, March 16, 2007

Children Without Fathers Statistics



STATISTICS

By: Kerry Dale Hancock Jr

Picture Source: LibertyPark.Org

Just to think that we were all once children. Those who had a father know the benefits of having one and those who didn't have a father know the pain of not having one. Even though we each know individually what the benefits and problems of either having a father or not having a father while growing up, we still individually make choices to not be in our children's lives the way we should be.

If you are convicted by these statistics of children without a father or if you know someone else who would be then please do something about it. All of us need each of us and each of us need all of us in order to put a stop to this world epidemic of fatherless children.

  • 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes (US Dept. Of Health/Census) – 5 times the average.
  • 90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes – 32 times the average.
  • 85% of all children who show behavior disorders come from fatherless homes – 20 times the average. (Center for Disease Control)
  • 80% of rapists with anger problems come from fatherless homes --14 times the average. (Justice & Behavior, Vol 14, p. 403-26)
  • 71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes – 9 times the average. (National Principals Association Report)
  • 75% of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes – 10 times the average. (Rainbows for All God’s Children)
  • 70% of youths in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes – 9 times the average. (U.S. Dept. of Justice, Sept. 1988)
  • 85% of all youths in prison come from fatherless homes – 20 times the average. (Fulton Co. Georgia, Texas Dept. of Correction)

Clearly, fathers represent a lot more than just a paycheck to a child; they represent safety, protection, guidance, friendship, and someone to look up to.

It is one thing when we do things out of complete ignorance; not that it makes it any better. It is another thing if we can continue abandoning our children after knowing these statistics and after also knowing how our personal childhood experience has affected our life.

Take this moment to reach out to your children. You can write a letter, you can call them, you can take them to lunch, you can just hug them and tell them how much you love them and most importantly, if you are a father who hasn't spoken or seen your child/children in many years then just remember this. It is never too late! I am a 29 year old man with four children of my own and the truth is this: I still long for the relationship with my earthly father that I never had.

39 comments:

Enemy of the Republic said...

I went through life with a drug addicted dad who my mother divorced. I always feel like I never had a father and I think it explains my rage toward God at one time. My father is now dead, but we made our peace. I am glad that you are doing this.

Kerry Dale Hancock Jr said...

Thanks for sharing such personal but strong feelings. This is what we need to see. People need to know they are not alone and ultimately know that it is Jesus Christ who will never let you down in anyway and felt our pain before we did. We are not alone! Blessings to you for sharing and all glory to God.

Manchild said...

Wow!! I recently found your site and am grateful that I did. Just because a father lives in the home doesn't mean he's there emotionally.

"Missing In Action" is the best way to describe the men who don't have a love worth giving or receiving.

May you touch the lives of the people who visit "Fallen Fathers" in eternal ways. Peace

repard said...

My father and mother stayed married for 34 years, and there was never any demonstrated love between them. She died; they never divorced. They cheated on each other. They used me as their pawn. Most importantly, neither loved me! It was believed--and thank God I didn't know this until my much later adult years--that I am the child of someone else. Because of my faith in Jesus Christ, He has been a Father in all things to me. Thank God for my uncle and others who loved me unconditionally! Unlike many others, I didn't fall into the statistical heap. I am college-educated, taught school for 30 years, now retired. Tried drugs for a number of years--never addicted in any way. Quit-didn't feel like making the effort to get any. Start-met someone who would get them. Quit--the Lord intervened. Stayed quit thanks to the good Lord. Including cigarettes! Having said all this, I still wish that my father had accepted me, and equally, I wish my mother had. Neither of them loved me because I was the seed of someone elses. Even though I was the seed of my mother, she still did only what was enough to meet the public scrutiny, and not be called "a bad mother." Tragic in many ways, but the Lord made it work out, and I am all the better for it. People need to know that in Christ, there is no loss of any kind. He will make a way because He is God, and He is a way-maker. God never disappoints. If you have been discouraged with God, you really need to make sure you that you know He is God--not us!

PartTimeParent said...

Protecting our children from sexual abuse.
==========================================
Once-upon-a-time, Paedophiles simply joined the Church or become a teacher or to get access to vulnerable boys to abuse. But these organisations have made this extremely dangerous now.

But now cunning and evil pedophiles have found a safer and easier way to get into the bedrooms of innocent children. Simply romance a single mum and get her kids as a bonus!

We all know that smoking causes cancer, right? Well, smoking increases the risk of lung cancer by only 125%... But there is a cause-and-effect there.

Well, children living in vulnerable single-parent homes have an increased risk of being abused by 23,000% !

Living with mum and 'mummies-new-boyfriend' is the most dangerous type of household for vulnerable kids.

Protect children's human right to be cared for by both their NATURAL PARENTES and you will protect them from sexual abuse. And emotional abuse. And neglect. And child homicide - look into all the stories of kids horribly abused and murdered - almost always the child is living with mum and "mummies-new-boyfriend".

www.Fathers4Equality-Australia.org

God Blessed said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
God Blessed said...

This is an amazing site. I was just checking the net for articles on the effects of fatherless women/daughters and I stumbled on this site. I was in search of articles because I can't seem to find a decent male relationship that brings me any real satisfaction. I am NOT the stereotypical fatherless woman. I am educated, attractive, fiercely independent, good job, and not looking for a man to define me, (but to love me). However, I am totally lost when it comes to finding a man (I haven't a clue what's my type). I know exactly what I don't want, but can't put my finger on what I do want. Did that missing father distort my views on what's an ideal male? Do I look for the guy that I am dating to live up to my ideal "father figure?" Do I look to them to make up for what I didn't have growing up? If so, I think my journey will be long and hard b/c I keep hoping for this unconditional love and the lack luster men I keep falling for continuous come up short. The sad part about it -- is I think the problem lies with me and NOT them. The effects of girls who become women without a father may appear to be a very small piece of the puzzle on the outside - they may look like Ms. Hollywood. However, on the inside they can be a real mess and very lost. It's my journey to discover and succeed at finding a "real" relationship with real "love" without compromising my values and beliefs. Also, to not let my past.... as a fatherless child rob me of feeling safe and loved, b/c with GODS all things are possible.

svenskasandy said...

I never knew my mother until I was almost five. I had to live with her and her new husband. I did not know what Mama meant. I had no knowledge of a father. I lived with gramma and Uncle Ralph until I was almost five. My mother was put in prison when I was twelve, and I had four younger sisters and brothers. We were not fed or cleaned or taken care of. Mother was never home much. Us kids were taken to a children's shelter and eventually family took us girls. Then when I was 12, I had to fly to Detroit to live with the man that was named on my birth certificate as my father. I never had any feelings towards him and had to learn to adjust to live with these people I didn't like. Years later we moved to Cal. and I graduated high school and married my boyfriend. I had seve children. At 63 years old my sister (she lived with mom's family) told me that I am the daughter of a famous Supreme Court Judge and all the family knew it. So, I got a DNA from my dad and he is not my father. My real father died in 1974, so all I have is his memoirs, media coverage and pictures I can find of him. I fell in love with him as my father the first time I saw his face and didn't know yet that he was my father. God kept leading me, step by step, to find out the truth. I am sad that I will never know him or hear his voice. But, God takes care of that too. I wrote my memoirs: "Blood of My Father," published by Xlibris. My writer's name is S.J. King. I wouldn't wish what happened to me on anyone. Sandy

Michael H said...

Friend, I don't know who you are but you are representative of a large demographic in our country. I want you to know that as Co-Founder of a ministry to mentor boys growing up in father-absent homes, we are doing everything we can to counteract the effects of fatherlessness in young boys. Everywhere we look, we can see men suffering from these patterns that our Founder dealt with for many years as a result of fatherlessness. It breaks our hearts and we want to impact this next generation as much as we can. Thanks for this blog. I pray that God uses you to minister to many people. Flight36 Boys Ministry. http://www.flight36.org

E. said...

Hi everyone. My name is Efrain, I am a single father who keeps fighting for custody of my son. My sons' mother tries her best to keep him from me, yes it hurts me, but i think it hurts him even more. my son cries that he wants so come and live with me and that he is either at school or with the babysitter all day. My son and I need HELP! He is often depressed and I feel like I am tied with my hands behind my back.

T.M. said...

What a great site! I stumbled onto your sight as I was researching statistics for my own book, "Without Fathers." I grew up without a father, and consequently did not have a clue what to look for in a husband and father of my children. Without surprise, my son ended up growing up without a father as well. However by God's grace, I finally recognize the love of my heavenly Father; my infinitely perfect loving Father that has always been and always will be there for me. I pray for all of us that grew up without an earthly father, the consequences of which extend for generations.

David Cookson said...

am now 57 years old. In 1960, two months before I turned 7 Years old, i left with my father to go see his second family, So. Bend,In. My father was in the American Air Force, he was stationed in England and had met my mother, I was born in Oct. of '53. I didn't realize it then, but I was just a novelty to my drunk father. At the time being from England, I had a British accent, so he took me from one family member to another showing me off. We wound up in Glendale, Ca. which is a suburb of L.A. I turned 7 while there. Shortly after, maybe the end of November, he came to me at the place where a Mexican family watched me during the day while he worked. He told me, "son, I'm going to pick up Terry, (his girlfriend), at the airport"...I saw him again in June,...1999!

I believe that if I hadn't been left like that, you know, like a wet dishcloth on the counter, I do not believe that I would have dropped into a life of crime, drug/alcohol addiction. What saved my life,(my mother without me knowing it helped save my life through her prayers to God)was when I got caught for trafficking in cocaine,not to mention at the time I was charged and convicted of 9 separate felonies associated with one bust. I was a wreck at the time, I never ever thought that I would live past 21 or even make it to that age.When I left my town where I grew up at, I didn't contact my mother or the rest of my siblings for almost twenty years.

Now, I have a son that is going to be 9 years old this February. I have never been happier, and more alive.

At the time of his birth I (without reading the document) signed a paper that gave my sons mother full custody. Over the past 9 years of his life I have been there for him, teaching him the consequences of my actions and what happens to people that fall into those addictions.

Recently I filed to have joint physical custody of our son. His mother vehemently cried no, flat out no. No compromise, no nothing. Thankfully I have maintained a healthy relationship with our son, his mother has smoked in the house since he was born, choking out not only our son, but her two children from a previous relationship. She also has a bit of a drinking problem. She has a job with the State of Michigan Health dept. I am currently struggling to find full time work. This is a very long story, I tried to shorten it up but there is more to it than just this.

David Cookson said...

am now 57 years old. In 1960, two months before I turned 7 Years old, i left with my father to go see his second family, So. Bend,In. My father was in the American Air Force, he was stationed in England and had met my mother, I was born in Oct. of '53. I didn't realize it then, but I was just a novelty to my drunk father. At the time being from England, I had a British accent, so he took me from one family member to another showing me off. We wound up in Glendale, Ca. which is a suburb of L.A. I turned 7 while there. Shortly after, maybe the end of November, he came to me at the place where a Mexican family watched me during the day while he worked. He told me, "son, I'm going to pick up Terry, (his girlfriend), at the airport"...I saw him again in June,...1999!

I believe that if I hadn't been left like that, you know, like a wet dishcloth on the counter, I do not believe that I would have dropped into a life of crime, drug/alcohol addiction. What saved my life,(my mother without me knowing it helped save my life through her prayers to God)was when I got caught for trafficking in cocaine,not to mention at the time I was charged and convicted of 9 separate felonies associated with one bust.
Now, I have a son that is going to be 9 years old this February. I have never been happier, and more alive.

At the time of his birth I (without reading the document) signed a paper that gave my sons mother full custody. Over the past 9 years of his life I have been there for him, teaching him the consequences of my actions and what happens to people that fall into those addictions.

Recently I filed to have joint physical custody of our son. His mother vehemently cried no, flat out no. No compromise, no nothing. Thankfully I have maintained a healthy relationship with our son, his mother has smoked in the house since he was born, choking out not only our son, but her two children from a previous relationship. She also has a bit of a drinking problem.

Tyler said...

People say children with no father isnt gonna be anything, well i guess i had one cause you smell that, thats the ordor of success (:

your girl dynasty said...

Good afternoon,

I'm submitting my video to you as it falls in line with your message and I hope that you'll feel the same upon review. My most recent video is a dedication to my father who wasn't present for most of my life, a situation that MANY of your viewers can relate to.

You can see the video on youtube.com at http://youtu.be/rdxVaIN6Iy8. If you are uncomfortable clicking the link, simply search "Dynasty Forgive" in the search box on the site. Or, simply google the same.


I truly hope that you'll take a moment to listen and view.

I appreciate your time.

Always,
Dynasty

Jane - Your Gran said...

Don't forget that sometimes it is women who keep their child's father away - through revenge or through a desire to control or goodness knows what reason. I'm a single mum and a feminist, but sometimes I'm ashamed of my sex, when I see women suing their children as pawns in their own pathetic and selfish game.

The world is hardly a better place for this rise in fatherless children, is it?

My2prettygirls said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
My2prettygirls said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
My2prettygirls said...

I am a 31-year-old mother of two girls who grew up in a home with a single mother and one brother. My parents were going through a divorce when I was conceived. He came back one night telling my mother thing's she wanted to hear to get what he wanted and then left to go back to her best friend the next day, never to look back! He was involved in my brother's life, tking him hunting and even living with him for a year or so. If I could calculate on a calendar how much time I had actually spent with my father, it would probably be, at most and being very generous, three months. My father has never had, nor wanted, a role in my life, and I truly believe I am a better person because of it.

My brother cried for his attention and because of the lack of it shown to him, I believe it is the resaon he has absolutly no drive to do anything poistive in his life. He has diabetes and is now suffering because of it. Because of his lack of self-esteem and drive, I believe he has all but given up on his life. He, himself has a son of his own but isn't involved in much of his life, and he lives in the same house.

My mother, being the strong, independent woman whom she was, and still is, has thought me the same morals, values, and self-respect that she was raised with and I, in turn, will instill in my own daughters. I am grateful to my mother for all the hard work she did and continues to do. If there were better, hard-working and motivating mother's out there, I believe any child can grow up to be a positive person. Yes, there is always a small hole that is empty, but I have filled that hole with other positive thing's in my life, all with the help of my mother.

In 2001, I found out that my father adopted a child. He was old enough to be the childs grandfather and his wife, who put off having children to further her career and now decided at 53 that it was time, adopted girl! How can a man who has living, breathing children of his own, a flesh and blood daughter whom he has no desire to have a relationship with, BUY a daughter?! I was floored! At that time, I tried to reach out. I had a few phone conversations and in the end, I wrote him a letter telling him I'm done trying. I since then have had two beautiful girls of my own, and they have a PAPA, my step-father.

In the end, for me, the one who missed out is my father. I am a strong believer in karma, and at the end of this episode, it's paying off. My mom retired four years ago with a full pension from the state, owns three houses and has no major worries. He, on the other hand, has not a dollar to his name and struggles daily to keep his head above water!

Do I wish there had been a relationship? Sure, but knowing what I know now, I didn't miss out on much!!

Unknown said...

I have a webpage which offers an explanation for the problems encountered by boys who grow up without a father. It is:

Boys without Fathers
https://sites.google.com/site/boyswithoutfathers/

slyons7 said...

Hi, my name is Sarina Lyons and I am currently writing a book called "Sins of the Father," your comment on this site touches on an important topic that I want to discuss in my book. Would you mind if I quote it?

slyons7 said...

Hi, my name is Sarina Lyons and I am currently writing a book called "Sins of the Father," your comment on this site touches on an important topic that I want to discuss in my book. Would you mind if I quote it?

Barbara Bartocci said...

It touched me to read your blog.
My son's father was killed in a war incident when Barty, my middle child, was just 7. I was only 29, and didn't know how to address the issues my middle son was experiencing, so by 13, he was acting out some very angry behavior.

MY ANGRY SON, which is being reissued as a kindle book, tells the story of our family's struggle as my son and I sought professional psychiatric counseling to work through issues both of us faced.

Tia Aelick said...

I have two boys, I left there father cuz the house hold was not safe, and he became addicted to drugs and was bringing ppl, bad ppl bums drug dealers and ppl he met 5secs before home at 3am, Long story short I DO not want them to grow up with out a dad and i told him he just has to prove he is stable for them, so no drugs, going to work and keeping a place and paying bills, just prove he got his act together because he has yet to pay one dime towards child support and says he will then on date doesn't & ignores me for weeks then trying to turn it around, he left a bunch a bill in my name own, rent wasn't paid, and moved out of country... My issue is when he comes back what do I DO?!?! I don't want him in and out of there life, if he can't put them first in front of his needs to party and spend money there then on his kids I don't want him around, but I'm scared to give him a chance and let my kids heart break 9months & 27months and i tell him to prove it first but he wants access first. He has not seen them since we moved 3.5 months cuz he moved right away... Help?!

Tia Aelick said...

FML on my cell I didnt want that showing my name :$

Mia-Jay said...

Im 17 and my father left when i was 11 and moved across the world from England to America. To say it broke my heart would be an understatement. Even though i see him its now once a year rather than everyday and right now im finding it hard to handle. It hurts all the time and my head is just in a different place. My dad also suffers with bipolar disorder after a motorcycle accident which changed his life. So many bad decisions have been made over the past 10 years or so and now im just left feeling why no one asked me what i wanted to do and if i was okay with it. Why was i never took into consideration cause as far as im concerned i thought a child should be the number one priority and doing whats best for them comes first. Emotionally i have just tried to push it to one side and now it is overtaking my life it seems. Im taking steps to try and overcome this but its hard.

Tia Aelick said...

Plz delete my comment I DID NOT want it showing my name for my kids sake. I am on cell and it won't let me

Tia Aelick said...

Plz delete my comment I DID NOT want it showing my name for my kids sake. I am on cell and it won't let me

svenskasandy said...

I feel bad for you. Life is too short for us having this kind of burden. I believe all these things that happen to us makes us better parents.

Sandy Hemmes

svenskasandy said...

Eventually a boy wants to live with dad and eventually the boy is old enough to say who he wants to live with. In some states that is 12 years old. Call your local police department the non emergency number and they will tell you what age that is. Good luck. Boys need to be with dad.

svenskasandy said...

What is interesting about your struggles, is that all children grow up and remember what people do to them: people that are supposed to love them. A lot is interesting about your story. Today I am grieving for my father, Earl Warren, even though I never knew him, and he didn't want me in his life. Today is the date of his death. Death is so final, can never go back to say I am sorry.

svenskasandy said...

Leopards do not change their spots. Unfortunately this type of man will not change. he will go through life doing all the same things, and in an old age, wondering why he is so alone.
I wouldn't want bad influence on my kids, no matter who he was.

UCLA Scientist said...

Jesus Christ never saved anyone from anything. You save yourself. It is your responsibility to become a whole and complete human being. Look for strength in yourself. That's where it resides, not in some fantasy figure ignorant people dreamed up four centuries ago.

Tia Aelick said...

Delete this i do not want my name on here

Tia Aelick said...

Delete this i do not want my name on here

JODonnell said...

K

Mixo Lydian said...

When I was a baby my dad took drugs, went nuts and repeatedly abused me. Then my mom left him. Of course I missed having had a dad growing up, but my mom heroically raised me herself and taught me great lessons about how to be a good parent and a good person. Many years later my mom and dad reconnected and he paid lots of back child support. He's clean now and has a different family that seems just fine, but we don't have any kind of relationship.

Now I'm a dad and I do my best to be there and support my wife and two kids. I love them, and I know that my involvement is helping them to grow. Whenever my relationship with my wife gets challenging, our kids are our inspiration to make things right again.

By the way, all this talk about god and Jesus seems off-topic. I thought I'd see more comments about the important role real fathers play in children's lives, not imaginary ones. If the idea of god/Jesus gives you a father figure you can believe in, so be it—I hope it helps you. In my case, I derive all the happiness and love I need from positive relationships with my living family and friends.

danielle allen said...

My father died when I was 6yrs old so its seems like from my teenage years till I married I was always looking for my father in my boyfriend. The attention that I never had i from him I wanted in a man. So it was a little rougher for me because I could never find what I was looking for becoming depressed

danielle allen said...

My father died when I was 6yrs old so its seems like from my teenage years till I married I was always looking for my father in my boyfriend. The attention that I never had i from him I wanted in a man. So it was a little rougher for me because I could never find what I was looking for becoming depressed